An Unchanging God in Everchanging Times

This morning I woke up the sound of a toddler banging my head, saying, “Da-Da!”. Two years ago I woke up to the sound of a cell phone ringing at 1:30 a.m. with the declaration, “Charity is going into labor!” The past few years have been a frenzied blur. Over the course of the past thirty-six months I have said good-bye to loved ones, prayed through an adoption, began pastoral ministry, endured a heart attack, welcomed new members to the family, and sent others to college.  Through it all I have been stretched, grown, chiseled, and refined. I have laughed and cried, doubted and resolved. I have felt the pain of perplexity, fear of the unknown, struggled with failure, rejection, and change. In the midst of daunting storm clouds and rising waters, barren deserts and unquenchable thirst, there has been but one constant; an unchanging God. He was in the emergency room as I held Denise’s hand and said good-bye to her mother. He comforted our hearts when the adoptions failed and when we were not picked to be parents. He guided our steps as we our birth mother introduced us to our future son. God orchestrated the details of my calling to Ocean Park through search committees, health insurance, and an uncertain future. He was there in the heart hospital when my invincibility was shattered with the words, “You’ve had a heart attack.” He united our family on Micker’s Beach where new love was promised and comforted our hearts when we sent Kayla away to Boyce. The inevitability of change and the immutability (unchanging) of God are the two constants in our world. Yet we often attempt to defy the two. We cling to the circumstances, people, and possessions of our life as if they could guarantee satisfaction and constant security. Sadly, our family members grow ill and die, expectations are unmet, dreams are grounded by the coldness of reality, and possessions devalue, depreciate, and grow outdated. When a season of our life brings plenty, complacency is often lurking in the shadows. We forget our maker, creator, and sustainer until a new season brings want and need. It is then we cry out to Him to provide a need or to lift a burden. We even question whether he is present and if He hears our prayers. The prophet Habakkuk knew this sentiment when he uttered his complaints to the Almighty God, “O LORD, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you “Violence!” and you will not save? Why do you make me see iniquity, and why do you idly look at wrong?” (Habakkuk 1:2-3)  It was to this complaint that God brought crystal clarity, “Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told” (Habakkuk 1:5).  Had the Lord reveled to me where I would be today, thirty six months ago, I probably wouldn’t have believed him. I would not have believed that I would wake up to a two year old banging my head because he wanted to watch Mickey Mouse clubhouse. I wouldn’t believe him that I have the honor to shepherd a congregation in our pursuit of Christ. I would not have believed Him about my heart, my mother-in-law, and my niece. Most of all I would not have believed I could have endured  while learning a new, fresh perspective of God’s sovereignty and goodness. Not all the things the past thirty six months have been good. At times they have been excruciating. Often I felt that I would be crushed under the weight of sorrow, heart-ache, and uncertainty. However, looking back over my journey it was not my own strength that sustained me but the God who not only placed the weight on my back but forbid the burden to crush me. Every step, every tear, and every victory was orchestrated for my good and His glory. Therefore, as I celebrate every milestone in this journey of life I give Him all the glory as the maker, sustainer, and, in time, the taker of my life. To God alone be the glory!

Finalization is complete.

We had a wonderful day! To God be the glory great things He has done.

Another view of the tapestry of God's adoption story...

 It is a blessing to see how God works in the lives of his people to accomplish His will. In July of 2012 I received a phone call that changed our lives forever. Ultimately, we met Grace, a mother of five children (four through adoption). At Grace's church they have compiled a list of "Go Stories" that encourage the congregation to respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and find opportunities to share the love of Christ. Her story...

When God Says GO
"In early June I found out that a young woman, "Charity," who is part of my extended family, was pregnant and did not want to keep her baby. There was talk of abortion. Two women in my family were helping her to think through her situation. One of those women, my mom, serves in a crisis pregnancy center in GA so quickly gave Charity the names of a few places to go in her hometown. 

Meanwhile I could not stop thinking that I wanted to help her but did not know how she would respond and as far as I knew she did not know that I had been told of the situation. I wanted to help her think through her decision and was pretty sure I could help her find a Christian family for her baby should she choose to adopt. The thought nagged and nagged at me. At this point Charity had decided to give her baby for adoption. I told my mom that if it seemed appropriate she could share my story of giving a son for adoption and let Charity know that I knew of families that would love to adopt her baby.

Not long after I talked to my mom the subject came up with Charity.  She took my number and seemed interested in talking with me.  She called the week of July 4^th.  After talking with her about her decision, people she had met up to that point to consider adopting her baby and telling her about my story she said she wanted me to “introduce” her to families. After we hung up I was overwhelmed with questions. I thought “how do I do this? Who do I ask? What have I done????”  I stopped to pray about it and the name of a CFC pastor and co-laborer in the counseling ministry came to my mind.  I emailed him about the situation and my thoughts of how to proceed.  I wanted his wisdom.  He emailed back to say he would help me with something I had in mind and casually mentioned a couple he was friends with that were trying to adopt.  After a few more conversations about the situation he again mentioned the couple he knew in case I wanted to talk to them. 

I prayed about it and talked with my husband. We decided to contact this couple so I let him know. He contacted them and they were very interested so I called them. We sent the couple's profile to Charity on July 26th, and she immediately told me she really liked them.  She said she had a really good feeling about them and that she was choosing them.  

On Friday Aug. 3 Charity woke one morning not feeling well. She texted to say she may not go to work because she felt yucky.  Later I received a call from my mom saying she was taking Charity to the hospital.  This would be her first time with a medical professional during her pregnancy.  I let the family know she was headed to the hospital.  Turned out to be an easily treated infection but in the process she received some care, was established with a dr. and set her next appt., and an ultrasound showed the baby would be a boy and a due date of Sept 16^th was given. I called the family with the “medical report” and said “do you want to know?”  the answer was yes so I let them know he is a boy. They were relieved that this was not labor as they were in the process of raising money to cover the adoption.

The family had attempted to adopt another baby but it failed to go through and in that process they used up their funds for adoption.  They had a lot of money to raise in a short time. Little did they know how short, but God did, and He provided $30K in 9 days!! The family held a fund raiser, and the response was overwhelming.

On Monday Aug. 20, at 12:53 am, we received a call from Charity saying she was on her way to the hospital to have the baby. She wanted me to tell the family. A text with a photo arrived at 5:22 am -a photo of a precious baby boy. Now the family had to scramble because he arrived, in God’s perfect timing, 3.5 weeks earlier than expected. They were together and in the car by noon that day. 
Charity gave her son a name because she did not want him to go for a couple days in the hospital without a name.  Later that day the family called from SC, on their way to OH, to give an update on their progress and then ask if I had told Charity what they planned to name the baby. I said “no”. They wondered because they had learned that Charity named him the same middle name they chose! 

The couple arrived and were nervous about meeting Charity and having her blessing to proceed with adopting. They had two previous adoptions fall through because the moms changed their minds. 
At this point I want to say that Charity listed herself as an atheist on her paperwork and the family listed themselves as Christian and their profile, which Charity loved, was very Christian. Charity was excited that her baby would be in a loving home with other kids. The couple had sent Charity flowers the day of the birth and had put together a basket for her and one for her 2-year-old son.  Both baskets had Bibles in them. The next text said they were there, and I continued praying.  Later I got a text from the couple saying “it could not have gone better.”  But the most amazing thing was a later text from Charity that said “I really cannot thank you enough.” I texted back that she is a hero in my mind.

I then called Charity and she gushed with excitement and gratitude she really loved this couple and said when the “mom” picked up the baby she looked so natural with him, “it was perfect” she said.  In all the conversations I had with her up to this point I had never heard that kind of joy, peace and gratitude. God was truly glorified in all these moments. 

The next day a text came saying the couple had spent time with Charity and read Romans 8 to her.  My mom later told me that Charity told her about the Bible reading and how God adopts children into His family.  Reports of time spent in the hospital room laughing and crying were heartwarming and it seemed the couple spent as much, if not more, time loving on Charity than they did the baby. The kind of love poured on her was very impactful. I don’t think she has ever experienced the love of God that is in Christ Jesus before and she seems very taken by it.  She was amazed at reports of people all over the world praying for her (because of the family’s blog) and her baby, fund raising efforts, and people she would probably never know loving her and her baby. 

Today, Aug. 23, 2012, she signed away her rights and the family is officially the parents of a baby boy that God had determined from the beginning of time would be their son!  

Psalm 139:15-16  
My continued prayer is that God would use the love lavished on her to glorify Himself and draw Charity unto Himself through Jesus.  I spoke to Charity yesterday and before we hung up I said “I love you” to which she replied “I love you too”.  This is remarkable due to all the previous conversations which have been down, hard and focused on the negative things going on in her life. God continues to grow my awe of Him. 

What a privilege to go when He says to go!"

Where it all began...

This past weekend my father drove me, Anna, and Andrew to pick up my grandmother for dinner. As he drive through the winding New England roads he nonchalantly gained the kids attention and said, "Look kids! That is the place where we met your Daddy for the first time." It was so profound yet so common. The weathered buildings stand as a silent witness to the miracle of my adoption into the Partyka family and ultimately into the household of faith.

The Village for Families & Children

My story began on September 22, 1977 when a little boy was born to a young unmarried woman. The result of a fleeting relationship, he was rejected by his father and forfeited by his mother. Immediately he became a ward of the state living in the care of foster parents who were not his own. His future was filled with uncertainty and danger, for this world is a dark and dangerous place without the love and protection of a father and mother. However, he was not forgotten. During the spring of 1977, James and Lucy Partyka struggled with the hopelessness of another year without a child of their own. The devastation of multiple miscarriages had left their hearts weary and their loving arms empty. They had no child of their own to snuggle with, read fairy tales to, or push on the swings. Their house was not a home without a child to share it with. Everything changed with a phone call from Catholic Family Services who informed them that they had a little boy named, “Christian”. The overjoyed couple raced to the office (see picture) where the little boy sat in a small room eating a box of Ritz crackers. The nervous couple slowly entered the room to meet their prospective son. When the little boy took notice of the couple he opened his arms to be picked up by his new Daddy. Without hesitation, they chose to call this little boy their own son. On November 10, 1978 I was declared a Partyka by the State of Connecticut. My parents triumphantly brought to me to their home to meet my grandparents, my uncle, and my new puppy. I slept in their beds on scary nights, ate my mother’s delicious food, and waived to my father from the little league diamond. I listened as they read scripture after dinner, prayed before bedtime, and worshipped with them at church. I picked up their mannerisms, speech habits, and way of thinking. I am loved because they chose to love me. I was born a stranger but now I am their son because they chose to be my parents. I am a Partyka because they chose to give me their name.

Thirty four years later I hold my own son of adoption, Crosby James. United together not by blood or history but by a love that chose to give of oneself. He did not chose me as his father but I chose to love him as my son. He is a constant reminder of the day on a hillside in Connecticut where my earthly father chose to give me his name and his unconditional love. Ultimately, Crosby is a testament to the love of a Heavenly Father who declared me his own on a hillside in Jerusalem some two millennia ago.

"In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." Ephesians 1:5-6

"Our lives will change forever."

"Our lives will change forever."

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

The past three days have sped by like a blur. We have had the pleasure of spending time with Charity our birth mother, shopped for baby essentials, and spent time holding the baby. I honestly can't imagine this process going any better. Charity is a sweet and sensible girl who is full of love and kindness. Yesterday we were able to sit and talk with her for over two hours in her hospital room. All three of us worried about the tension of the moment or the awkward factor but nothing could have been further from reality. We sat and talked about our children, football, and how perfectly beautiful this baby was. It could not have been more natural as we spoke.  Honestly, it was surreal. When we arrived on Tuesday afternoon we could not have been more nervous. The pit in our stomach felt like a 12 lb cannon ball and the walk in from the parking lot felt like the Boston Marathon. I remember standing at the elevators thinking, "When these doors open our lives will change forever." It was our desire to meet Charity first and get her blessing to visit the baby. When we arrived in the waiting room we were introduced to the hospital social worker who informed us that, "Charity would like to introduce you to the baby". With the accompaniment of an swarm of butterflies we walked down the never ending corridor to the maternity ward. As we walked up to Charity's door we both took a deep breath and prayed for divine aid. There she sat in her bed, as nervous as we were. Immediately, all three of us burst into tears as Denise and Charity embraced. There are times in life when words cannot express the emotions of the soul. This was one of those times. Shakespeare himself would be as a babbling fool to describe those feelings. We sat by her beside thanking her countless times for her love and expressing how honored we are to raise her baby. We told her a small portion of the struggles of the journey over these past six years but most of all for the joy of the past three crazy weeks. How the weeks were spent scrambling to raise money, prepare for a baby, and meditate on the miracle of adoption. As we sat beside her bed it all seemed natural. Later Denise reflected that her sweet manner was similar to the times in life when we have the perfect gift for someone and we just can't wait to give it to them. It was like this with Charity. She had a wonderful gift she wanted to give us and most of all wanted to give her son. Charity wanted nothing else but to witness our faces when we saw the baby for the first time.  That time finally came. Charity called the nurse to bring in the baby into the room and minutes later there was a knock at the door. The nurse rolled the baby bassinet into the room and in it lay the most beautiful baby that we have ever seen. He was a tiny little man with fuzzy brown hair and long stunning eyelashes. Silently he sleep, wrapped in a hospital blanket, oblivious to the significance of the moment. He was in perfect peace. Charity asked Denise to pick him up and with tears in her eyes Denise joyfully obliged. As a husband and a father there is no better moment than to see your wife hold her newborn baby.  There are many beautiful woman that grace our world but none compared to my wife on our wedding day and when she held our babies in her arms the first time. The radiance that shone in her face was a tiny glimpse of what the glory of God is like. It is in moments like these when I see a glimpse of what the Apostle John wrote in 1 John 1:4, "we are writing these things [fellowship with God] that our joy may be complete." As Denise' eyes gazed in awe at this perfect little boy she experienced in this brief moment a small of pure joy. Later that evening as she held Crosby in her arms she looked up me with perfect clarity and said, "All the sufferings of the past six years were worth it just to finally hold this baby." In a single moment all the pain of miscarriages, failed adoptions, financial stress, and miles traveled were washed away in an tidal wave of joy. This moment of joy was not reserved to Denise and I alone. Charity quietly lay in her hospital bed with great peace and assurance that she never has to worry that her baby will have a family to love him. She shared with us the love that she has for her two year old son and how much she loves being a mother. She once worried about her baby's future and if she would find a couple who would be able to love him as their own. We were not the first family that she interviewed but we were the family she instantly knew was perfect for her baby. As Charity watched Denise and I hold her baby she knew that she had made the right choice. It was not the easiest nor the most convenient but it was the right choice. She looked at Denise and declared, "You're glowing!" This moment validated her choice to give her baby life and love her son courageously. Later that afternoon we were able to return to our room on the other end of the floor and snuggle and laugh at our baby's funny expressions. We coddled and cooed at our tiny bundle of joy. It was a surreal moment. Quickly, we retrieved our iPhone and face-timed with Anna and Andrew. They marveled at this wonder that they called their little brother Crosby.  I couldn't help but marvel at the extravagant beauty of this adoption journey myself. The Lord has so blessed our family in a way we could have never imagined. I can't help but sit back marvel at the greatness of our God and how He so perfectly stitches together the tapestry of our life for the glory of our God.

Haggai, Adoption, and the Glory of the Lord

The Prophet Haggai

"Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, declares the LORD. Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD. Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts. The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts."(Haggai 2:4-9 ESV)

-->

What do an obscure Hebrew prophet and adoption have in common? Not much. That is what I would have said just a few short weeks ago. However, this past Sunday one of our elders, Ken Fraser, preached on Haggai 2:1-9. As I read through the struggle of the post-exilic Jews picking up the pieces of what once was King Solomon’s Temple, I saw more and more of our struggle with infertility and adoption. The people of Jerusalem returned to an desolate Judah and after nearly twenty nears they finally began the arduous task of rebuilding the temple. Solomon's temple which once stood as a mighty edifice for the worship of the one true God now lay in ruins. As the foundation was being re-laid the elders of the community wept because they realized the new temple was but a shadow of its former glory (Ez 3:12). They wept because they felt the bitterness of  disappointment, the consequence of waywardness, and the futility of their efforts. It is here that the struggle of these ancient people resonates with our struggle with infertility and adoption. I have so desperately wanted to expand our family but month after month and year after year we were unsuccessful. I felt the heavy weight of discouragement when I realized the daunting cost of adoption. Just as the people of Judah wept knowing that their effort at building the temple fell desperately short, I have felt my own futility at raising the money to bring this baby home. As I sat looking over agency charges, lawyer fees, and travel costs I felt the burden grow heavier and heavier. I remember sitting in my car watching the fees from the agencies pile up thinking, "This can't be done." It was even worse when Grace (our birth mother's friend) called me to let me know that Charity is going to the hospital because she "doesn't feel right". My heart was heavy knowing that if she had the baby now we had no money to pay the agency and the baby would go to another family. It was here that the words that Haggai spoke to the downtrodden Hebrews spoke to my heart, "Yet now be strong....work...Fear  not" (vs.4). The faithful response to struggle and discouragement is not sorrow and self pity. Feeling sorry for myself and my plight is not congruent with a person who knows God.  It is my duty to be strong and to work. However, the ability to work in light of daunting tasks is not a credit to my own strength but because of the Lord who blesses my work. Haggai continues, "Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt" (vs. 4-5). The reason that the people could continue to build the walls of the temple was not their own strength, leadership, or ability but because of the nature of their God. We can work because God is strong. We can continue because God is able to provide. We can lay our head down in rest because God is rich in bounty. He has promised that he would provide for His people. Likewise, I can seek the end adoption knowing that God will provide the means. I can ready our home for a baby knowing that God is able to provide funding. The question remains is how. How can I say that God will bless our endeavor of adoption? My conviction is this. If God chooses to glorify Himself through adoption there is no force on earth that is able to bind His purpose. Just as God declared to Haggai, "Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts." God is able to shake the heavens and earth so that they move for His purpose. The obstacles that seems impossible to traverse are easily shaken for the Glory of God. The fortresses of doubt that forbids us to pass are reduced to rubble at the will of the Lord. As Christians, we believe that the glory of the Lord that would fill the Temple was not only seen in the completion of the temple in Haggai's day but in the person of Jesus Christ. Hebrews 1:3 declares, "He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power." The building of the temple was a foreshadowing of the glory that would be seen in the "temple" of Jesus Christ (John 2:20). We are not seeking adoption and parenthood only as a way to fulfill a need within ourselves but because we know that by pursuing God's glory in adoption we will find satisfaction. When we seek to glorify Christ in adoption we can rest in the promise of peace, no matter the outcome. "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts.’” I can rest in the promise of peace knowing that if I seek the glory of God in adoption, my vocation, and my family I will taste satisfaction. Any pursuit that is done in my own strength will ultimately leave me wanting and weeping but work done in the strength of the Lord for His glory will satisfy.  I believe that my heart is pure and my motives are to glorify God through adoption. Ultimately, my prayer is that the glory of the Lord will fill our home and Jesus Christ be glorified above all things. Please pray that in the coming weeks the tears that we once cried will be turned to shouts of joy and our weeping turned into dancing (Psalm 30:11). May the glory of God shake the heavens and fill our home with the glory of God to the praise of Jesus Christ alone.

Postscript:
Haggai 2:1-9 has been the prayer of my heart this past week as we have been in the process of filling out adoption loan applications, planning fund raisers, and blogging our journey. I have been over whelmed by the fact that so many people have responded with prayer, love, and encouragement. The heavens have begun to shake for the glory of God! We have found a family in our birth mother's city to host us our time in Ohio and have been overwhelmed by all the people who have stepped up to organize fund raisers on our behalf. On Thursday I received a phone call from a friend who read the blog and has blessed us with a fund raising challenge for the adoption. My friend will match all donations up to $8,000 towards the adoption! What a challenge! We received cards and letters from people who though we have never met but have given generously because of their heart for adoption and love for the gospel. Over the past 7 days, beginning with Anna giving her $150 puppy fund, we have raised $9,325. No words can express how in awe I am of God's provision. I pray that we are faithful with that provision and continue to work, knowing that it is God who strengthens our hands and lights our path.  We still have a way to go but I sense the peace that God will provide and pray that God is being glorified in our pursuit.




soli Deo gloria.

The Power of a Phone Call.

It was under the shade of this tree that my life changed forever.

A phone call can change your life forever. Yet a phone call can be so simple. What can be as benign as calling my wife on a work break or calling home to remind me what exactly I was dispatched to the store to retrieve. A phone call can be as routine as catching up on the happenings of the week with a friend or calling to order a large pizza with mushrooms and pepperoni.  Of the thousands of ordinary phone calls you receive in a lifetime there are some calls that have the power to change the trajectory of your life forever. Calls that leave you in stunned silence. Phone calls can shake you to your core and cause your world to stop turning. Alexander Graham Bell could have never imagined the power he unleashed when he called Mr. Watson to come see him. I have felt the power of a phone call at 4:00 one quiet Sunday morning as I realized Denise was telling me that her mother had passed away. I felt the air knocked from my lungs as I heard my mother tell me, "Dad has had a heart attack. However, a phone call is not just a grim messenger of tragedy. A phone call has brought me glad tidings of great joy. I will always remember the surreal joy upon hearing that Kayla was returning home to our family.  I remember the words of my father confessing gratitude for his new understanding of God's sovereignty over his life with the words, "I got on my knees and thanked God for my heart attack". A phone call can change your direction, perspective, and outlook in an instant.  The phone call I received on July 10th was one of those calls. It began with a quick text message from my friend Faithful* asking if I had a minute to talk. (*When I refer to a person in this blog I will not be using their actual name but an adjective that I believe describes their essence. Fake names are cold and sterile while adjectives are warm and communicate respect).  Fortunately for me his conversation would grant me a temporary respite from watching my family shop at the outlets. Assuming that he wanted to talk theology or to ask a ministry question, I excused myself to find a quiet place in which to talk. We exchanged pleasantries and he inquired about the status of the adoption. Faithful is a friend who had walked with us through several miscarriages and has been a source of great encouragement toward pursuing adoption for our family and I was happy to share an update. Unfortunately, there was little development in our adoption since the last birth mother changed her mind post-delivery. I shared my frustration that month-after-month had gone by with little new prospects for birth mothers but our desire to adopt had not waned. It was at that moment my life was about to change. He explained that a mutual friend of his was seeking to find a Christian family to place a baby with. One family had already passed on the offer to adopt her baby but Faithful felt that our family would be an ideal place for the baby. I remember hearing these words and thinking to myself here we go again. I looked at Denise and said, "This is very good news." Immediately, I felt that I needed to ask a hundred questions but couldn't think of a single one to ask. I just stood there in the outlet mall parking lot thinking that I cannot allow myself to get too excited about this. With tempered enthusiasm, I expressed our interested in pursuing adoption with this birth mother. Faithful told me that he would pass this on to his friend Grace who would be contacting me shortly with more details about the birth mother. I gave Denise the run down and we agreed that no matter what happened over the next few days and weeks we promised not to let our horses out of the stable. Unfortunately, taming wild stallions is easier said than done. 

Later in the day my phone rang with an unrecognized number which I knew to be Grace. I answered the phone wondering what impact of the next few minutes would have on the rest of my life. She introduced herself and told me the story how she came to know the birth mother, Charity.  Grace already had a burning passion for adoption and the opportunity to walk Charity through the choice of life only fanned those flames. Charity felt that she could not give her baby the life that she wanted him to have due to the season of life she found herself and wanted to find a safe and loving home. She was working with an adoption agency and the families that she already met were simply not the right fit for her. Grace wanted to guide Charity to a Christian family and use this adoption as a chance to share the hope of the gospel. She had developed a special affection for Charity which was evident by how she spoke of her.  I agreed that this sounded like a wonderful opportunity for us to pursue and could not help but wonder if this was the baby that we had been waiting for. I furiously called our social worker and scrambled to update our family's profile (a profile is a 6-8 page summary of pictures, blurbs, and a letter that give a birth mother a picture of what your family is like). Over the next few days calls were made, emails exchanged, and late nights spent wondering what Charity would think of our family.  Our social worker printed our profile and mailed it to Charity in Ohio. The next few days were agony because I probably could have walked it to Ohio faster than the post office delivered it. We received news that she received the profile on Thursday July 26. Five agonizing days passed and we finally received news that Charity, "loved the family's profile and would like to continue her adoption journey by being this family's birth mother". The words couldn't be sweeter. After months of bitter disappointments these words were music to a weary soul. Just a few days ago (Sunday) my heart was heavy with doubt. We second guessed if adoption would become a reality and if we could stomach another year of waiting. Meanwhile, 895 miles away a mother feeling the pressure of the approaching labor, felt the burden lifted knowing that she had finally found the family that would raise her baby. Grace had told us that over the past few months Charity had begun to feel the pressure mounting to find a safe family for her baby. When she saw our profile she wept because she knew that our family was the perfect fit. When our social worker told Charity that she was giving our family a great gift she maturely countered that our family was the greatest gift she could give her baby. It is my prayer that we are faithful to fulfill her wish. By the grace of God we will. The baby is due at the end of August beginning of September. It is only a few short weeks before this elusive dream becomes a reality. There are still a multitude of details to work out. Applications to complete. A home study to renew. A nursery to prepare. The Lord will provide in His perfect timing. Today we rejoice.

My Heart for Adoption

July of 2012 marked the one year anniversary of our adoption journey. A journey that has been an emotional roller-coaster; bringing both euphoria and heart break, laughter and tears. This ever changing spectrum of emotions has only served to strengthen my resolve for adoption and focus my vision of adoption. As an adopted child myself, I have always had a heart for adoption and the desire to pass on the gift of adoption. Yet it always has seemed something that is only on the horizon of my future. However, as I push into my mid-thirties that horizon has become an ever-present reality. In the blink of an eye my children have grown from tri-cycle engines sputtering around the house to effervescent youth experiencing the joy of living. I often wonder where the time has gone. My heart swells with pride as I watch them grow but aches watching the sand of time empty out of the hour-glass of their time in my home. There are few things that bring me as much joy as being a parent. However, the joy of parenthood is not motivation enough to pursue adoption. Nor is it to bring 'wholeness' to our family, though often it does.  The chief end of adoption is to bring glory to God by infusing the gospel into the Christian family. The gospel of Christ that declares a lost sinner a child of God by the mercy and grace of our Heavenly Father. Christian adoption embraces an unknown child with the same love and compassion of a naturally born child. Genuine adoption brings the orphan into a fellowship of unconditional love and grace by virtue of the gospel. The gospel that says that true religion is to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27). The gospel that declares that true righteousness is seen in the pursuit of justice for the fatherless (Isaiah 1:17).  It was the metaphor of adoption that Paul used to demonstrate the process of bringing sinners into full membership in the family of God (Romans 8:14-17; Galatians 4:4-7; Ephesians 1:5). Yet, sadly, I have not always appreciated the richness of this metaphor, even as an adopted child. I often looked at the material blessings and lack of want my parents provided as the role of adoption. Adoption can change the trajectory of a child's life but if it only changes the social status of the child it has missed the mark.  True adoption brings a child into fellowship with their new family but more importantly with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (1 John 1:3). My heart is to bring a child into the love of an earthly family and pray that he grow to know the sweet fellowship with our Heavenly Father. It is my prayer that in this adoption journey that I learn to lead my family toward adoption with that goal in mind. Not to see adoption as an opportunity to once again rock a baby of my own to sleep, to savor the smell of a clean baby immediately after bath time, or to feel the flutter of butterfly kisses from a sleepy toddler. All these are the pen-ultimate goals of adoption. The goal of adoption is to bring a child into my home because that child needs to be shown Jesus. To see Jesus in how I love my wife. To see Jesus in how I deal with my own failure. To see Jesus in how we worship as a family. To see Jesus in how we deal with the circumstances of life.  I pray that one day I can look my child in their eyes and say, "Just like Mommy and Daddy brought you into our family as a child, Jesus brought us into God's family." I pray that when someone asks me why I am pursuing adoption I can say, "I adopt because God has adopted me into the family of God."  I pray that my extended family will see the essence of the gospel when they feel the love for a baby they hold in their arms that came from the womb of another woman. I pray that when people see the metaphor of adoption played out in my family they see the Father of Adoption who sent Christ to accomplish it. It is to this end I strive. I cannot say that the past year has been easy. In fact at times it has been painfully tedious and exhausting. However, I pray that I can one day stand in the congregation of the righteous to declare that God has brought a child into my home. It will be on that day that I will continue to plead that God would adopt my child into the fellowship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I pray that as I write these words they will cause my heart to trust the author of adoption when the days are long, the financials overwhelm, and doubt creeps.  May I remember my own adoption journey that declared me a Partyka and my spiritual journey that declared me a child of God so that I do not lose heart.

soli deo gloria