|"Our lives will change forever."|
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
The past three days have sped by like a blur. We have had the pleasure of spending time with Charity our birth mother, shopped for baby essentials, and spent time holding the baby. I honestly can't imagine this process going any better. Charity is a sweet and sensible girl who is full of love and kindness. Yesterday we were able to sit and talk with her for over two hours in her hospital room. All three of us worried about the tension of the moment or the awkward factor but nothing could have been further from reality. We sat and talked about our children, football, and how perfectly beautiful this baby was. It could not have been more natural as we spoke. Honestly, it was surreal. When we arrived on Tuesday afternoon we could not have been more nervous. The pit in our stomach felt like a 12 lb cannon ball and the walk in from the parking lot felt like the Boston Marathon. I remember standing at the elevators thinking, "When these doors open our lives will change forever." It was our desire to meet Charity first and get her blessing to visit the baby. When we arrived in the waiting room we were introduced to the hospital social worker who informed us that, "Charity would like to introduce you to the baby". With the accompaniment of an swarm of butterflies we walked down the never ending corridor to the maternity ward. As we walked up to Charity's door we both took a deep breath and prayed for divine aid. There she sat in her bed, as nervous as we were. Immediately, all three of us burst into tears as Denise and Charity embraced. There are times in life when words cannot express the emotions of the soul. This was one of those times. Shakespeare himself would be as a babbling fool to describe those feelings. We sat by her beside thanking her countless times for her love and expressing how honored we are to raise her baby. We told her a small portion of the struggles of the journey over these past six years but most of all for the joy of the past three crazy weeks. How the weeks were spent scrambling to raise money, prepare for a baby, and meditate on the miracle of adoption. As we sat beside her bed it all seemed natural. Later Denise reflected that her sweet manner was similar to the times in life when we have the perfect gift for someone and we just can't wait to give it to them. It was like this with Charity. She had a wonderful gift she wanted to give us and most of all wanted to give her son. Charity wanted nothing else but to witness our faces when we saw the baby for the first time. That time finally came. Charity called the nurse to bring in the baby into the room and minutes later there was a knock at the door. The nurse rolled the baby bassinet into the room and in it lay the most beautiful baby that we have ever seen. He was a tiny little man with fuzzy brown hair and long stunning eyelashes. Silently he sleep, wrapped in a hospital blanket, oblivious to the significance of the moment. He was in perfect peace. Charity asked Denise to pick him up and with tears in her eyes Denise joyfully obliged. As a husband and a father there is no better moment than to see your wife hold her newborn baby. There are many beautiful woman that grace our world but none compared to my wife on our wedding day and when she held our babies in her arms the first time. The radiance that shone in her face was a tiny glimpse of what the glory of God is like. It is in moments like these when I see a glimpse of what the Apostle John wrote in 1 John 1:4, "we are writing these things [fellowship with God] that our joy may be complete." As Denise' eyes gazed in awe at this perfect little boy she experienced in this brief moment a small of pure joy. Later that evening as she held Crosby in her arms she looked up me with perfect clarity and said, "All the sufferings of the past six years were worth it just to finally hold this baby." In a single moment all the pain of miscarriages, failed adoptions, financial stress, and miles traveled were washed away in an tidal wave of joy. This moment of joy was not reserved to Denise and I alone. Charity quietly lay in her hospital bed with great peace and assurance that she never has to worry that her baby will have a family to love him. She shared with us the love that she has for her two year old son and how much she loves being a mother. She once worried about her baby's future and if she would find a couple who would be able to love him as their own. We were not the first family that she interviewed but we were the family she instantly knew was perfect for her baby. As Charity watched Denise and I hold her baby she knew that she had made the right choice. It was not the easiest nor the most convenient but it was the right choice. She looked at Denise and declared, "You're glowing!" This moment validated her choice to give her baby life and love her son courageously. Later that afternoon we were able to return to our room on the other end of the floor and snuggle and laugh at our baby's funny expressions. We coddled and cooed at our tiny bundle of joy. It was a surreal moment. Quickly, we retrieved our iPhone and face-timed with Anna and Andrew. They marveled at this wonder that they called their little brother Crosby. I couldn't help but marvel at the extravagant beauty of this adoption journey myself. The Lord has so blessed our family in a way we could have never imagined. I can't help but sit back marvel at the greatness of our God and how He so perfectly stitches together the tapestry of our life for the glory of our God.