Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Charity's Love

It has been nearly five months since Denise and I took the long awaited journey to Ohio to be introduced to our son Crosby. When we started our journey two years ago every day that passed without a baby seemed like an eternity. We would watch every month for an update concerning potential birth mothers and would calculate the approximate time that the birth mother may be choosing a family. For twelve long months our profile was passed over or would fall to second place behind the birth mother's perfect family. The time between each new birth mother seemed longer and longer and the birth mothers seemed fewer and fewer. Yet one day a simple phone call kick started our life into motion. It sent the agony of slow motion into the blur of fast forward. Weeks went by like hours and the months like days. Our tiny sleepy 6 pound infant boy has transformed into a plump 16 pound smiling baby boy. The family has settled into the comfort of a schedule and the security of a routine. However, it is so easy to allow the ordinary routine of life to cause us to forget the extraordinary things that God has ordained. This could not have been more evident to me than it has this past week. On August 21st, Denise and I were 50 miles outside of Canton when I received a phone call from a dear college friend. He was calling us to inquire if we would know of a Christian family who would be able to adopt a baby who was scheduled to be born later that day. Unable to convince Denise that we in fact should adopt the baby, I called a member of our congregation who was struggling with infertility. The call was guided by the hand of Providence because he informed me that just the prior days he and his wife had decided to fore go fertility treatments and adopt. Over the course of the next few days they scrambled to prepare for this child but this was not to be their child. However, today they are but a few hours away from adopting a child of their own. Denise and I have had the privileged to walk with them through the journey of adoption. Each adoption case is unique and they have had their fair share of trials and tribulations. However, as I have spoke with them I have been struck with how blessed Denise and I were to be directed to our birth mother, Charity. Every birth mother is different. Some have motivations of love for their child while others have much less virtuous intentions for choosing adoption. Some struggle with whether or not they will be able to go through with their plan while others hold unwavering to their conviction that adoption is the only option. With all the birth mothers that we could have had we were blessed with Charity, a sweet, sensible, and selfless birth mother.  I have often attempted to consider the depth of faith that it took Charity to trust her baby to our family. I know that I would never be courageousness enough to admit that I could not care for the child and place him up for adoption. As I have considered her strength, I was reminded of the great love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13. It is in the KJV that declares that if I"...have not charity, I am nothing." In this act of finding a home for Crosby she was personifying what true love is. Paul teaches in 13:7 "[Charity] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." In choosing adoption for Crosby she was bearing the burden of a broken heart, believing that Denise and I would love him as our own (as she would love him). She had the confidence assurance of hope that he was being cared for by parents who love him and love each other. Charity endured all the difficult things of pregnancy and delivery, the scorn of judgment, insensitive questions, and the unimaginable pain of saying goodbye to her baby in order to give him life . That is pure love. She did not receive accolades or financial gain.  She made hard sacrifices of time, energy, and emotions. All so that her baby could have a mother and father to love him the way she was unable to love him. She was unable to give him the life that she felt he deserved but she was able to give him the love that he deserved. The love of an adopted mother and father made possible by the love of a birth mother. She personified self sacrificial love so her baby could experience the life that she envisioned for him. I will never know the depth of love that it took for her to find Denise and me but I am indebted to her forever. Every time I hold him in my arms it is because she is not holding him. Crosby will grow up in my home, eat at my table, and run around our back yard because she did not bring him to her own home. That is sacrifice. That is selflessness. That is love. That is amazing! Charity holds a special place in our family. Though we only spent a few hours together over the course of three days I feel like she is apart of me. I am reminded of the love she gave when I see the slight red hue of Crosby's fuzzy hair that matches her own auburn hair. He will forever have gentle reminders of the love that our family was given by her sacrificial love. Most of all, I will praise my Lord and Saviour for sovereignly putting all the puzzle pieces together even when the journey was a difficult one. It was our loving Heavenly Father who was working to find us the right birth mother and to bring us the reward of a perfect baby boy. I am every grateful that He did. To God alone be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

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