Merry Christmas!

Crosby enjoyed his first Christmas. His first gift was the adoption story called "God found us you" by Lisa Tawn Bergren.

Happy National Adoption Day!

Where it all began...

This past weekend my father drove me, Anna, and Andrew to pick up my grandmother for dinner. As he drive through the winding New England roads he nonchalantly gained the kids attention and said, "Look kids! That is the place where we met your Daddy for the first time." It was so profound yet so common. The weathered buildings stand as a silent witness to the miracle of my adoption into the Partyka family and ultimately into the household of faith.

The Village for Families & Children

My story began on September 22, 1977 when a little boy was born to a young unmarried woman. The result of a fleeting relationship, he was rejected by his father and forfeited by his mother. Immediately he became a ward of the state living in the care of foster parents who were not his own. His future was filled with uncertainty and danger, for this world is a dark and dangerous place without the love and protection of a father and mother. However, he was not forgotten. During the spring of 1977, James and Lucy Partyka struggled with the hopelessness of another year without a child of their own. The devastation of multiple miscarriages had left their hearts weary and their loving arms empty. They had no child of their own to snuggle with, read fairy tales to, or push on the swings. Their house was not a home without a child to share it with. Everything changed with a phone call from Catholic Family Services who informed them that they had a little boy named, “Christian”. The overjoyed couple raced to the office (see picture) where the little boy sat in a small room eating a box of Ritz crackers. The nervous couple slowly entered the room to meet their prospective son. When the little boy took notice of the couple he opened his arms to be picked up by his new Daddy. Without hesitation, they chose to call this little boy their own son. On November 10, 1978 I was declared a Partyka by the State of Connecticut. My parents triumphantly brought to me to their home to meet my grandparents, my uncle, and my new puppy. I slept in their beds on scary nights, ate my mother’s delicious food, and waived to my father from the little league diamond. I listened as they read scripture after dinner, prayed before bedtime, and worshipped with them at church. I picked up their mannerisms, speech habits, and way of thinking. I am loved because they chose to love me. I was born a stranger but now I am their son because they chose to be my parents. I am a Partyka because they chose to give me their name.

Thirty four years later I hold my own son of adoption, Crosby James. United together not by blood or history but by a love that chose to give of oneself. He did not chose me as his father but I chose to love him as my son. He is a constant reminder of the day on a hillside in Connecticut where my earthly father chose to give me his name and his unconditional love. Ultimately, Crosby is a testament to the love of a Heavenly Father who declared me his own on a hillside in Jerusalem some two millennia ago.

"In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." Ephesians 1:5-6

A Humble Thank You

How do you say thank you for a gift whose significance far surpasses every gift that you have and ever will receive? It is simply not possible to put into words. One year ago we started on this adoption journey with the desire of expanding our family through adoption. Over the course of the past months we have done so much more. We have felt the love and support of a community who has encouraged us, prayed for us, and rejoiced with us. Our eyes have been opened to the importance of adoption in our world and the significance of adoption to the family of God. Most of all we have marveled at the power of the Lord as we watched His hand move mountains bringing Crosby into our family. All praise be to God our Heavenly Father! As we have watched the Lord work we cannot help but recognize the individual parts he has used to accomplish his will. Thank you. Thank you for your willingness and generosity in bringing Crosby into our family. You played a vital role in making this happen and for that we say thank you. 

~ Chris, Denise, Anna, Andrew, & Crosby

Home

After 14 days in Ohio, 28 hours driving, countless diapers, eating out two meals a day, and one really cute baby....We're home!

Thank you Jesus!

We got the green light!!! We're heading home.

Seriously?!?

We cleared the conflicting document that held us up with the ICPC in Ohio. Unfortunately, the state of Florida is asking for additional documentation to clear the adoption. We are scrambling to find a printer an a fax machine to fulfill the new request. Stress is extremely high with this newfound demand but we praying that all the computers, emails, and fax machines work without glitches, agency's co-operate, and we are able to head out tonight. Thank you for continued prayers.

Our "Babymoon" in Ohio.

Crosby's first baseball game

Unfortunately, we will not be going home tomorrow. We nearly cleared all the hurdles with the ICPC but got caught by one contradictory form. Our social workers will be working on it this weekend and we hope to get it resolved on Tuesday. We're trying to make the most of our "babymoon" and be thankful for time we have together.  Yesterday we decided to go to Cleveland to see the Indians play a baseball game. It was an absolutely perfect afternoon! It was 72 degrees and sunny and the Blue Angels were flying over the stadium throughout the game. We found a shaded seat under the upper deck and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon of baseball. We hope to visit Alistair Begg's church on Sunday and go to the Cincinnati area on Monday to meet up with Robert and Becky Konemann for the day.  As much as we want to go home to see the rest of our family we are trusting the Lord's timing and His provision. If you have told me a year ago that to get a baby I would have to wait in Ohio for two weeks I would have gladly accepted. God has done marvelous work in our family to bring Crosby into our lives. I need to trust Him even when things don't go according to my preferences. I have learned in life that when I look back at how God has orchestrated His plan it is always best. Despite the troubles, I can affirm that I would have it not other way than how He worked. This time is no different.

The winner of the Julie Paisley Photo Session is.....

Thank you for all who supported our adoption journey financially, with prayers, and words of encouragement. Special thanks to Julie Paisley for generously donating her time and services to the adoption. Her support and the generosity of so many people raised over $1,200 people. Thank you.

 

 Also, the winner of the Photoshop Presets is Matt Russell and the Wedding Posing Guide was Holly Crider. Congratulations and thank you very much.

Meanwhile back in Ohio...

We are still in Ohio waiting for the Ohio Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC) to release us to Florida. We have to wait until all the paperwork is processed, reviewed, and agreed upon by both states in order to return to Florida. After several hours of phone calls to everyone and their mother, we finally determined that the paperwork would be arriving to the Ohio office this morning to begin the process. Our social worker told us this morning that the paperwork weighed 5 1/2 lbs! Both states are aware that the package is coming and even our local congressman Cliff Stearns, a strong Pro-life advocate, was kind enough to put in a good word for us to the agencies. We hope that the bureaucracy of the paperwork can be expedited before the weekend so we are stuck here through labor day. However, with all this being said we serve a God who already has moved mountains to bring Crosby into our family. We enjoyed a beautiful weekend with the visit of the kids to Ohio and a trip to the Football Hall of Fame. God was able to move mountains and provide financially, for a home for us to stay, and a wonderful relationship with Charity, our birth mom. He is certainly sovereign over the litany of paperwork in the federal government. We know that though we are far from our other children, God is near to Anna and Andrew. Kenny and Kayla are doing a marvelous job wearing Denise's many hats in her absence and AT&T has been gracious to excuse my time off. Please pray that we trust the Lord until we get the ok to return home and enjoy the gift of this perfect little baby we have been waiting so long for.

"Our lives will change forever."

"Our lives will change forever."

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

The past three days have sped by like a blur. We have had the pleasure of spending time with Charity our birth mother, shopped for baby essentials, and spent time holding the baby. I honestly can't imagine this process going any better. Charity is a sweet and sensible girl who is full of love and kindness. Yesterday we were able to sit and talk with her for over two hours in her hospital room. All three of us worried about the tension of the moment or the awkward factor but nothing could have been further from reality. We sat and talked about our children, football, and how perfectly beautiful this baby was. It could not have been more natural as we spoke.  Honestly, it was surreal. When we arrived on Tuesday afternoon we could not have been more nervous. The pit in our stomach felt like a 12 lb cannon ball and the walk in from the parking lot felt like the Boston Marathon. I remember standing at the elevators thinking, "When these doors open our lives will change forever." It was our desire to meet Charity first and get her blessing to visit the baby. When we arrived in the waiting room we were introduced to the hospital social worker who informed us that, "Charity would like to introduce you to the baby". With the accompaniment of an swarm of butterflies we walked down the never ending corridor to the maternity ward. As we walked up to Charity's door we both took a deep breath and prayed for divine aid. There she sat in her bed, as nervous as we were. Immediately, all three of us burst into tears as Denise and Charity embraced. There are times in life when words cannot express the emotions of the soul. This was one of those times. Shakespeare himself would be as a babbling fool to describe those feelings. We sat by her beside thanking her countless times for her love and expressing how honored we are to raise her baby. We told her a small portion of the struggles of the journey over these past six years but most of all for the joy of the past three crazy weeks. How the weeks were spent scrambling to raise money, prepare for a baby, and meditate on the miracle of adoption. As we sat beside her bed it all seemed natural. Later Denise reflected that her sweet manner was similar to the times in life when we have the perfect gift for someone and we just can't wait to give it to them. It was like this with Charity. She had a wonderful gift she wanted to give us and most of all wanted to give her son. Charity wanted nothing else but to witness our faces when we saw the baby for the first time.  That time finally came. Charity called the nurse to bring in the baby into the room and minutes later there was a knock at the door. The nurse rolled the baby bassinet into the room and in it lay the most beautiful baby that we have ever seen. He was a tiny little man with fuzzy brown hair and long stunning eyelashes. Silently he sleep, wrapped in a hospital blanket, oblivious to the significance of the moment. He was in perfect peace. Charity asked Denise to pick him up and with tears in her eyes Denise joyfully obliged. As a husband and a father there is no better moment than to see your wife hold her newborn baby.  There are many beautiful woman that grace our world but none compared to my wife on our wedding day and when she held our babies in her arms the first time. The radiance that shone in her face was a tiny glimpse of what the glory of God is like. It is in moments like these when I see a glimpse of what the Apostle John wrote in 1 John 1:4, "we are writing these things [fellowship with God] that our joy may be complete." As Denise' eyes gazed in awe at this perfect little boy she experienced in this brief moment a small of pure joy. Later that evening as she held Crosby in her arms she looked up me with perfect clarity and said, "All the sufferings of the past six years were worth it just to finally hold this baby." In a single moment all the pain of miscarriages, failed adoptions, financial stress, and miles traveled were washed away in an tidal wave of joy. This moment of joy was not reserved to Denise and I alone. Charity quietly lay in her hospital bed with great peace and assurance that she never has to worry that her baby will have a family to love him. She shared with us the love that she has for her two year old son and how much she loves being a mother. She once worried about her baby's future and if she would find a couple who would be able to love him as their own. We were not the first family that she interviewed but we were the family she instantly knew was perfect for her baby. As Charity watched Denise and I hold her baby she knew that she had made the right choice. It was not the easiest nor the most convenient but it was the right choice. She looked at Denise and declared, "You're glowing!" This moment validated her choice to give her baby life and love her son courageously. Later that afternoon we were able to return to our room on the other end of the floor and snuggle and laugh at our baby's funny expressions. We coddled and cooed at our tiny bundle of joy. It was a surreal moment. Quickly, we retrieved our iPhone and face-timed with Anna and Andrew. They marveled at this wonder that they called their little brother Crosby.  I couldn't help but marvel at the extravagant beauty of this adoption journey myself. The Lord has so blessed our family in a way we could have never imagined. I can't help but sit back marvel at the greatness of our God and how He so perfectly stitches together the tapestry of our life for the glory of our God.

It's Offical! Introducing Crosby James...

Crosby James

Official Stats!

The baby boy was born at 5:12 AM Monday 8/20 weighing in at 6 lb 10 oz, 18.7 inches long, and in perfect health! Photos and his name will be released on Thursday!

On the road again....

We are on our way to Ohio to fill this car seat with a baby! We hope to drive 8 hours tonight and the rest of the way in the morning.

Huge Surprise!

Last night we received word that our birth mother Charity was going into labor. Around 5 am the baby was born. Currently our heads are spinning with the early arrival and we are working furiously to pack our bags and tie up loose ends. Please pray for Charity as she faces an incredibly difficult few days and ourselves as we head up to Ohio. We pray for wisdom on our part as we deal with all the legal hoops we now need to jump through. Most of all we pray that Christ's name be glorified in our adoption.

Week Two Update

Loving Choice Fees as of 8/18

There are no words to express the deep gratitude that our family feels after the out-pouring of love that was shown tonight. We wish that we could have sat with each and everyone of you to tell you how God is providing for our adoption journey. It honestly was a blur. Please accept my most sincere thanks for honoring us with your presence, your encouragement, and your generosity. Chick-fil-a told us that this was a "very good" Spirit Night. Saturday nights are usually really slow and it was the first night running the store for the 19 year-old manager. :) She was amazed at how slammed they were. Most spirit nights have 6-12 flyers all night but tonight the tellers said that most of the people ordering had flyers and the restaurant did very well. We will know the official number until Monday or Tuesday but we anticipate it doing exceedingly more than we expected. Thus fare we have raised an incredible $13,177 over the past two weeks! (Remember this doesn't even include the Chick-fil-a receipt money) I am amazed at the love that our community of friends and family have shown for us. Most of all I am grateful to God for bringing so many wonderful people along for the journey. His tender compassion and bountiful care is a balm to my soul. Thank you all so much. We are very nearly to our goal of $16k. To God alone be the glory!

 

Offical Partyka Adoption T-Shirt

Who's awesome? This T-Shirt!

What's the hottest rage in New York? What's on all the runways in Paris? The brand new Partyka Adoption T-Shirt! Custom made silk screen by world renowned designer Lisa Underwood Moore these shirts are durable, schnazzy, and the message is inspired. Quoting from Romans 8:15 this shirt will be a great talking point with all your friends. The best part is that 100% of the purchase price goes to the Partyka adoption. So not only will you look AMAZING but you will feel better about yourself!

The shirts are $20 and we have S - M - L - XL and we will ship anywhere in the United States for $5.

Be one of the first 100 orders and will double your order for an extra $20. Don't delay! Buy today!

Here's how to order...

1) Click on the "Donate" button on upper right hand corner of the blog (In the "special instructions to recipient" put in the sizes you want and the address you would like it shipped to).

2) You can pay in person at the Chick-fil-a fund raiser on August 18th or any time you happen upon Chris or Denise.

3) Send a check payable to Denise Partyka c/o Sovereign Grace Baptist Church, P.O. Box 351342 Jacksonville, FL 32235. Please indicate your shipping address and desired size.

Lastly and most important, whenever someone asks you about your t-shirt tell them about the Partyka adoption and the good news of gospel of Jesus Christ from Romans 8:15.

Haggai, Adoption, and the Glory of the Lord

The Prophet Haggai

"Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, declares the LORD. Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD. Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts. The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts."(Haggai 2:4-9 ESV)

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What do an obscure Hebrew prophet and adoption have in common? Not much. That is what I would have said just a few short weeks ago. However, this past Sunday one of our elders, Ken Fraser, preached on Haggai 2:1-9. As I read through the struggle of the post-exilic Jews picking up the pieces of what once was King Solomon’s Temple, I saw more and more of our struggle with infertility and adoption. The people of Jerusalem returned to an desolate Judah and after nearly twenty nears they finally began the arduous task of rebuilding the temple. Solomon's temple which once stood as a mighty edifice for the worship of the one true God now lay in ruins. As the foundation was being re-laid the elders of the community wept because they realized the new temple was but a shadow of its former glory (Ez 3:12). They wept because they felt the bitterness of  disappointment, the consequence of waywardness, and the futility of their efforts. It is here that the struggle of these ancient people resonates with our struggle with infertility and adoption. I have so desperately wanted to expand our family but month after month and year after year we were unsuccessful. I felt the heavy weight of discouragement when I realized the daunting cost of adoption. Just as the people of Judah wept knowing that their effort at building the temple fell desperately short, I have felt my own futility at raising the money to bring this baby home. As I sat looking over agency charges, lawyer fees, and travel costs I felt the burden grow heavier and heavier. I remember sitting in my car watching the fees from the agencies pile up thinking, "This can't be done." It was even worse when Grace (our birth mother's friend) called me to let me know that Charity is going to the hospital because she "doesn't feel right". My heart was heavy knowing that if she had the baby now we had no money to pay the agency and the baby would go to another family. It was here that the words that Haggai spoke to the downtrodden Hebrews spoke to my heart, "Yet now be strong....work...Fear  not" (vs.4). The faithful response to struggle and discouragement is not sorrow and self pity. Feeling sorry for myself and my plight is not congruent with a person who knows God.  It is my duty to be strong and to work. However, the ability to work in light of daunting tasks is not a credit to my own strength but because of the Lord who blesses my work. Haggai continues, "Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt" (vs. 4-5). The reason that the people could continue to build the walls of the temple was not their own strength, leadership, or ability but because of the nature of their God. We can work because God is strong. We can continue because God is able to provide. We can lay our head down in rest because God is rich in bounty. He has promised that he would provide for His people. Likewise, I can seek the end adoption knowing that God will provide the means. I can ready our home for a baby knowing that God is able to provide funding. The question remains is how. How can I say that God will bless our endeavor of adoption? My conviction is this. If God chooses to glorify Himself through adoption there is no force on earth that is able to bind His purpose. Just as God declared to Haggai, "Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts." God is able to shake the heavens and earth so that they move for His purpose. The obstacles that seems impossible to traverse are easily shaken for the Glory of God. The fortresses of doubt that forbids us to pass are reduced to rubble at the will of the Lord. As Christians, we believe that the glory of the Lord that would fill the Temple was not only seen in the completion of the temple in Haggai's day but in the person of Jesus Christ. Hebrews 1:3 declares, "He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power." The building of the temple was a foreshadowing of the glory that would be seen in the "temple" of Jesus Christ (John 2:20). We are not seeking adoption and parenthood only as a way to fulfill a need within ourselves but because we know that by pursuing God's glory in adoption we will find satisfaction. When we seek to glorify Christ in adoption we can rest in the promise of peace, no matter the outcome. "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts.’” I can rest in the promise of peace knowing that if I seek the glory of God in adoption, my vocation, and my family I will taste satisfaction. Any pursuit that is done in my own strength will ultimately leave me wanting and weeping but work done in the strength of the Lord for His glory will satisfy.  I believe that my heart is pure and my motives are to glorify God through adoption. Ultimately, my prayer is that the glory of the Lord will fill our home and Jesus Christ be glorified above all things. Please pray that in the coming weeks the tears that we once cried will be turned to shouts of joy and our weeping turned into dancing (Psalm 30:11). May the glory of God shake the heavens and fill our home with the glory of God to the praise of Jesus Christ alone.

Postscript:
Haggai 2:1-9 has been the prayer of my heart this past week as we have been in the process of filling out adoption loan applications, planning fund raisers, and blogging our journey. I have been over whelmed by the fact that so many people have responded with prayer, love, and encouragement. The heavens have begun to shake for the glory of God! We have found a family in our birth mother's city to host us our time in Ohio and have been overwhelmed by all the people who have stepped up to organize fund raisers on our behalf. On Thursday I received a phone call from a friend who read the blog and has blessed us with a fund raising challenge for the adoption. My friend will match all donations up to $8,000 towards the adoption! What a challenge! We received cards and letters from people who though we have never met but have given generously because of their heart for adoption and love for the gospel. Over the past 7 days, beginning with Anna giving her $150 puppy fund, we have raised $9,325. No words can express how in awe I am of God's provision. I pray that we are faithful with that provision and continue to work, knowing that it is God who strengthens our hands and lights our path.  We still have a way to go but I sense the peace that God will provide and pray that God is being glorified in our pursuit.




soli Deo gloria.

Julie Paisley Photography Raffle

Julie Paisley Photography

We are THRILLED to announce a very exciting fund raiser. Starting NOW, you can enter an on-line raffle to win a FREE photo session with Julie Paisley of Julie Paisley Photography!

Julie is an extraordinary woman who does phenomenal work. Your session (which would need to be scheduled for 2013) includes the session fee and a CD of your images. This is valued at $750! She is only doing a limited amount of sessions next year so this really is a great opportunity for anyone looking to have some family pictures done. Entries for this session are $10 each.

Are you a budding photographer? You can also enter to win either a wedding posing guide (worth $75) or a set of custom by Julie photoshop presets (worth $50). You can preview both on her website. Entries for either of these will be $5 each.

Here's how to enter: Click on the "donate" button on the right-hand side of this blog. Then, donate $10 for each entry you would like to win the session, or $5 for each entry to win either the posing guide or the presets. You can enter as many times as you would like, and all entries MUST be in by 11:59 EST on August 24th. It is also IMPERATIVE that when you make the donation, that you add a note in "special instructions to recipient" that states which drawing you are entering, and how many times, as well as your name.

Example: If you wanted to enter twice to win the photo session, you would donate $20 via paypal with a note that says "Two entries for the photo session, Jane Doe". If you wanted to enter once for each raffle, you would donate $20 with a note that says "One entry for photo session, one entry for presets and one entry for posing guide, Jane Doe."

Even if you don't enter, check out her work and show her some love! Thank you all for your love and support.

-Denise

Grace that Chose Me

Will you join us in our journey?

Dear Friend,

The journey toward adoption can take you along a path you would never expect to go and experience depths of emotions that you could never otherwise feel. Denise and I have been following this path for the past year because we desire that our family be a living metaphor of the gospel. Tuesday we received the news that a birth mother, Charity, in Ohio had chosen our family to raise her baby. The past two days have been a scramble of phone calls, emails and text messages between ourselves, Charity's social worker, and our adoption agency. Due to the fact that Charity will be having her baby in Ohio we will be working with her adoption agency Loving Choice.  It is as if we have been drinking water from a fire hydrant of adoption law. Our heads are swimming in paperwork, our hands are tired from scribbling notes, and thumbs sore from texting. Here is what we have learned....

1) We are responsible to pay nearly $16K when the adoption paperwork is signed 72 hours after the birth. The expected due date for the baby is September 16th. The is roughly 6 weeks.

2) Charity will be giving birth in Ohio and we must drive there to pick the baby up and sign the necessary paperwork. However, Ohio law stipulates that a baby that is to be adopted cannot leave the state until the adoption paperwork is filed through the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children. This can take from 1 week to 1 month depending on how quickly the paperwork is processed over to Florida. Thus we will be required to stay in Ohio longer than we had anticipated.

3) Our adoption agency Embraced by Grace will be handling the finalization of the adoption in the Florida courts. They will be responsible for the home studies, required post placement visitations, and representing us at our finalization court date.

Needless to say there is a great need and very little time. We believe that the Lord has orchestrated leading Charity to our family and believe we would not be faithful to turn our back on this child.  Before we began this journey a friend told me, "If you know that the Lord is leading you toward adoption and finances are the only thing holding you back then go for it. The Lord will provide." We believe this is the right thing to do. Yet, I realize some may say, "Why didn't they calculate the cost before they started this?" We did.  We have also invested a great deal of our own money. We expected a birth mother from Florida through Embraced by Grace. God brought us a birth mother from Ohio through a mutual friend. When we began this process we were told that we would qualify for a $13k interest free adoption loan that would have covered most of these expenses.  However, two weeks ago we were informed that the fund had dried up. We are applying for new adoption loans and grants but many take 2-3 months to be processed if we are approved. Since Charity could realistically give birth in a few short weeks the money will not be to us in time. We will also need to spend a good deal of time and money waiting in Ohio until we are cleared to leave the state. These have all been unexpected despite our most careful planning.

We are humbly asking if you would join us in our journey of adoption financially. We will be planning a fund raiser in the next few weeks (details coming soon) to help raise money for the unforeseen expenses. There are two ways you can help support our journey. First, you can donate by mailing a personal check to our adoption account* or use the Paypal link on the top-right hand corner of the blog.  Second, if you prefer a tax-deductible gift you can mail a check to Loving Choice who will apply it toward our costs once the adoption is official.**  They are a very reputable agency who has been placing babies for 93 years! If you have any question please feel free to contact us.

Finally and most importantly we need your prayer. We need wisdom to navigate the waters of adoption law. Strength to push through weary days and sleepless nights. Faith to trust our Heavenly Father who is guiding and directing this process from beginning to end. Please prayer for Charity as she nears the end of her pregnancy. She will be doing the most selfless act a mother could ever do. She desires to give her baby the gift of a safe and loving family. Pray also that she sees the hand of God and comes to trust the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray that we not put our trust in money, social workers, or in our own strength but in God alone. Thank you.

Chris, Denise, Anna, and Andrew

soli Deo gloria

** Loving Choice will accept checks made payable to Community Services of Stark County with Partyka Adoption in the memo line. Your check will be held until the finalization and if the birth mother changes her mind they will return the money to you upon your request. They also accept Mastercard and Visa payments. The mailing address is Loving Choice Adoption & Parenting Services, 625 Cleveland Ave NW, Canton, OH 44702. Their contact telephone number is 330.455.0374.

The Power of a Phone Call.

It was under the shade of this tree that my life changed forever.

A phone call can change your life forever. Yet a phone call can be so simple. What can be as benign as calling my wife on a work break or calling home to remind me what exactly I was dispatched to the store to retrieve. A phone call can be as routine as catching up on the happenings of the week with a friend or calling to order a large pizza with mushrooms and pepperoni.  Of the thousands of ordinary phone calls you receive in a lifetime there are some calls that have the power to change the trajectory of your life forever. Calls that leave you in stunned silence. Phone calls can shake you to your core and cause your world to stop turning. Alexander Graham Bell could have never imagined the power he unleashed when he called Mr. Watson to come see him. I have felt the power of a phone call at 4:00 one quiet Sunday morning as I realized Denise was telling me that her mother had passed away. I felt the air knocked from my lungs as I heard my mother tell me, "Dad has had a heart attack. However, a phone call is not just a grim messenger of tragedy. A phone call has brought me glad tidings of great joy. I will always remember the surreal joy upon hearing that Kayla was returning home to our family.  I remember the words of my father confessing gratitude for his new understanding of God's sovereignty over his life with the words, "I got on my knees and thanked God for my heart attack". A phone call can change your direction, perspective, and outlook in an instant.  The phone call I received on July 10th was one of those calls. It began with a quick text message from my friend Faithful* asking if I had a minute to talk. (*When I refer to a person in this blog I will not be using their actual name but an adjective that I believe describes their essence. Fake names are cold and sterile while adjectives are warm and communicate respect).  Fortunately for me his conversation would grant me a temporary respite from watching my family shop at the outlets. Assuming that he wanted to talk theology or to ask a ministry question, I excused myself to find a quiet place in which to talk. We exchanged pleasantries and he inquired about the status of the adoption. Faithful is a friend who had walked with us through several miscarriages and has been a source of great encouragement toward pursuing adoption for our family and I was happy to share an update. Unfortunately, there was little development in our adoption since the last birth mother changed her mind post-delivery. I shared my frustration that month-after-month had gone by with little new prospects for birth mothers but our desire to adopt had not waned. It was at that moment my life was about to change. He explained that a mutual friend of his was seeking to find a Christian family to place a baby with. One family had already passed on the offer to adopt her baby but Faithful felt that our family would be an ideal place for the baby. I remember hearing these words and thinking to myself here we go again. I looked at Denise and said, "This is very good news." Immediately, I felt that I needed to ask a hundred questions but couldn't think of a single one to ask. I just stood there in the outlet mall parking lot thinking that I cannot allow myself to get too excited about this. With tempered enthusiasm, I expressed our interested in pursuing adoption with this birth mother. Faithful told me that he would pass this on to his friend Grace who would be contacting me shortly with more details about the birth mother. I gave Denise the run down and we agreed that no matter what happened over the next few days and weeks we promised not to let our horses out of the stable. Unfortunately, taming wild stallions is easier said than done. 

Later in the day my phone rang with an unrecognized number which I knew to be Grace. I answered the phone wondering what impact of the next few minutes would have on the rest of my life. She introduced herself and told me the story how she came to know the birth mother, Charity.  Grace already had a burning passion for adoption and the opportunity to walk Charity through the choice of life only fanned those flames. Charity felt that she could not give her baby the life that she wanted him to have due to the season of life she found herself and wanted to find a safe and loving home. She was working with an adoption agency and the families that she already met were simply not the right fit for her. Grace wanted to guide Charity to a Christian family and use this adoption as a chance to share the hope of the gospel. She had developed a special affection for Charity which was evident by how she spoke of her.  I agreed that this sounded like a wonderful opportunity for us to pursue and could not help but wonder if this was the baby that we had been waiting for. I furiously called our social worker and scrambled to update our family's profile (a profile is a 6-8 page summary of pictures, blurbs, and a letter that give a birth mother a picture of what your family is like). Over the next few days calls were made, emails exchanged, and late nights spent wondering what Charity would think of our family.  Our social worker printed our profile and mailed it to Charity in Ohio. The next few days were agony because I probably could have walked it to Ohio faster than the post office delivered it. We received news that she received the profile on Thursday July 26. Five agonizing days passed and we finally received news that Charity, "loved the family's profile and would like to continue her adoption journey by being this family's birth mother". The words couldn't be sweeter. After months of bitter disappointments these words were music to a weary soul. Just a few days ago (Sunday) my heart was heavy with doubt. We second guessed if adoption would become a reality and if we could stomach another year of waiting. Meanwhile, 895 miles away a mother feeling the pressure of the approaching labor, felt the burden lifted knowing that she had finally found the family that would raise her baby. Grace had told us that over the past few months Charity had begun to feel the pressure mounting to find a safe family for her baby. When she saw our profile she wept because she knew that our family was the perfect fit. When our social worker told Charity that she was giving our family a great gift she maturely countered that our family was the greatest gift she could give her baby. It is my prayer that we are faithful to fulfill her wish. By the grace of God we will. The baby is due at the end of August beginning of September. It is only a few short weeks before this elusive dream becomes a reality. There are still a multitude of details to work out. Applications to complete. A home study to renew. A nursery to prepare. The Lord will provide in His perfect timing. Today we rejoice.

Though I walk through the valley...

Yesterday I was incredibly hopeful and found great comfort in my God who is much greater than the details of adoption. Today my heart grows weary with them. I feel that I am standing on the precipice of a chasm that is impossible to cross, precariously balancing on the edge. All my eyes can see is the thick fog that weighs heavy on my soul and the deep darkness that causes my heart to grow fearful. Paperwork begins to pile up, fees begin to mount, and miscommunication all work to distract from why I am doing this. It is in these day that I need to remember why I am doing this. It was only a few months ago that we were matched with a birth mother. I still remember overhearing Denise talking on the phone, asking quick questions and giving brief affirmation to the information that she was receiving. Puzzled about the curious call at such an early time of day I inquired of its nature. She informed me that a friend of ours who is a maternity nurse was working with a birth mother who wanted to give her child up for adoption. No sooner than our friend was made aware of the intentions that she slipped away and called us. After a mad scramble for phone numbers and a deep breath to calm my hectic nerves I called our social worker to inform her of this magical turn of events. Over the course of the next few hours we agonized about how the details would be orchestrated and how in a matter of 48 hours would be holding a new baby girl. The details did work out and the birth mother agreed to place her baby with us. Euphoria. Relief. Disbelief. Surreal. Words have such impotence to describe the emotions that we were feeling.Yet, as the hours ticked by we still knew the chances that the mother could change her mind. It was a very real possibility because she tested positive for cocaine at birth along with her baby. The positive test was a volatile variable because we didn't know if it was the drugs making the decision or her own sound mind. I don't think we will ever know the answer to that. What we only know is that she changed her mind. The baby we so desperately wanted was snatched away with a phone call from our social worker saying, "She has decided to parent." It is breath taking how quickly one can fall from the mountain top to the valley.



The mountain top is a place of great hope. The valley a place of despair. It is the valley that convinces you that the mountain is too difficult to achieve. The whispers of the valley attempt to convince you that the mountain top is not a reality...or a place that you don't belong. Yet one thing that the mountain top and the valley have in common is that in both the human understanding can be so unfocused. I remember writing after we had been matched, "It is not simply the times of deep sorrow that the Holy Spirit intercedes with prayer to our Father but also the times of great joy when the heart is alight but the mind unfocused. May we always be mindful of the greatness of our Great High Priest who is always present in the valley and on the mountain." In those short 18 hours that we were on the mountain I remembering that there were so many things that we needed to do. Despite being matched my mind bounced from task to task wondering how we were to accomplish such things. I knew that God would provide but I couldn't fathom how He would. Spending my time toiling over the details would not accomplish a single task. This is the same for my heavy heart today. I can spend time in fear, doubt, worry, self pity, and gloom yet nothing is going to change my circumstances. Investing my time in these worthless pursuits of worry and anxiety will only cause my wandering heart to fear more. I must look to my Great High Priest Jesus Christ (Hebrews 4:14) and cry out, "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). For it is He who promised in Romans 8:26-27, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Today I feel those groanings too deep for words. My heart is a swirl of fear, doubt, and trepidation. One moment I tell myself I am a fool for believing that adoption will happen for us and the next I remind myself of the little girl who was born addicted to cocaine, needing parents to love and protect her. This journey is not for the faint of heart. I do feel my feet growing heavy and my back growing weary carrying the weight of the process. It is in this time that I must remind myself that it is not my burden to carry. God will provide the finances that have unexpectedly piled up. God is the one that will chose a birth mother for us. God is the one who will strengthen our weary hearts. It is my responsibility to trust. It is my responsibility to keep walking up the path. It is my responsibility to pray, "Not my will but yours be done." 

Oh great and glorious Heavenly Father, 

It is you who formed the heavens for your glory. It is you who set this earth in motion. It is you who formed me in my mother's womb. It is you who breathed the breath of life into my lungs. In you I live, move, and have being. I confess that there is nothing that is beyond your control. You orchestrate the joys and struggles of this life according to your will. Nothing is to difficult to you for you possess infinite wisdom and unquenchable power. You give food to the raven and you clothe the lily of the field. How much more have you cared for the needs of your children? I thank you for the provisions that you have given thus far. Thank you for a community who loves and supports. Thank you for being a Father who cares for His children. Lord, because you are my shepherd I have no need to want. Teach me to be satisfied with the provision of your hand. Teach me to not doubt the wisdom and compassion of my good shepherd. I pray Lord that you would take the details of the adoption and work them according to your plan. Assuage my anxiety. Squelch my fear. Chase away the voices of doubt for your glory alone.

Amen

My Heart for Adoption

July of 2012 marked the one year anniversary of our adoption journey. A journey that has been an emotional roller-coaster; bringing both euphoria and heart break, laughter and tears. This ever changing spectrum of emotions has only served to strengthen my resolve for adoption and focus my vision of adoption. As an adopted child myself, I have always had a heart for adoption and the desire to pass on the gift of adoption. Yet it always has seemed something that is only on the horizon of my future. However, as I push into my mid-thirties that horizon has become an ever-present reality. In the blink of an eye my children have grown from tri-cycle engines sputtering around the house to effervescent youth experiencing the joy of living. I often wonder where the time has gone. My heart swells with pride as I watch them grow but aches watching the sand of time empty out of the hour-glass of their time in my home. There are few things that bring me as much joy as being a parent. However, the joy of parenthood is not motivation enough to pursue adoption. Nor is it to bring 'wholeness' to our family, though often it does.  The chief end of adoption is to bring glory to God by infusing the gospel into the Christian family. The gospel of Christ that declares a lost sinner a child of God by the mercy and grace of our Heavenly Father. Christian adoption embraces an unknown child with the same love and compassion of a naturally born child. Genuine adoption brings the orphan into a fellowship of unconditional love and grace by virtue of the gospel. The gospel that says that true religion is to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27). The gospel that declares that true righteousness is seen in the pursuit of justice for the fatherless (Isaiah 1:17).  It was the metaphor of adoption that Paul used to demonstrate the process of bringing sinners into full membership in the family of God (Romans 8:14-17; Galatians 4:4-7; Ephesians 1:5). Yet, sadly, I have not always appreciated the richness of this metaphor, even as an adopted child. I often looked at the material blessings and lack of want my parents provided as the role of adoption. Adoption can change the trajectory of a child's life but if it only changes the social status of the child it has missed the mark.  True adoption brings a child into fellowship with their new family but more importantly with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (1 John 1:3). My heart is to bring a child into the love of an earthly family and pray that he grow to know the sweet fellowship with our Heavenly Father. It is my prayer that in this adoption journey that I learn to lead my family toward adoption with that goal in mind. Not to see adoption as an opportunity to once again rock a baby of my own to sleep, to savor the smell of a clean baby immediately after bath time, or to feel the flutter of butterfly kisses from a sleepy toddler. All these are the pen-ultimate goals of adoption. The goal of adoption is to bring a child into my home because that child needs to be shown Jesus. To see Jesus in how I love my wife. To see Jesus in how I deal with my own failure. To see Jesus in how we worship as a family. To see Jesus in how we deal with the circumstances of life.  I pray that one day I can look my child in their eyes and say, "Just like Mommy and Daddy brought you into our family as a child, Jesus brought us into God's family." I pray that when someone asks me why I am pursuing adoption I can say, "I adopt because God has adopted me into the family of God."  I pray that my extended family will see the essence of the gospel when they feel the love for a baby they hold in their arms that came from the womb of another woman. I pray that when people see the metaphor of adoption played out in my family they see the Father of Adoption who sent Christ to accomplish it. It is to this end I strive. I cannot say that the past year has been easy. In fact at times it has been painfully tedious and exhausting. However, I pray that I can one day stand in the congregation of the righteous to declare that God has brought a child into my home. It will be on that day that I will continue to plead that God would adopt my child into the fellowship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I pray that as I write these words they will cause my heart to trust the author of adoption when the days are long, the financials overwhelm, and doubt creeps.  May I remember my own adoption journey that declared me a Partyka and my spiritual journey that declared me a child of God so that I do not lose heart.

soli deo gloria