Another view of the tapestry of God's adoption story...

 It is a blessing to see how God works in the lives of his people to accomplish His will. In July of 2012 I received a phone call that changed our lives forever. Ultimately, we met Grace, a mother of five children (four through adoption). At Grace's church they have compiled a list of "Go Stories" that encourage the congregation to respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and find opportunities to share the love of Christ. Her story...

When God Says GO
"In early June I found out that a young woman, "Charity," who is part of my extended family, was pregnant and did not want to keep her baby. There was talk of abortion. Two women in my family were helping her to think through her situation. One of those women, my mom, serves in a crisis pregnancy center in GA so quickly gave Charity the names of a few places to go in her hometown. 

Meanwhile I could not stop thinking that I wanted to help her but did not know how she would respond and as far as I knew she did not know that I had been told of the situation. I wanted to help her think through her decision and was pretty sure I could help her find a Christian family for her baby should she choose to adopt. The thought nagged and nagged at me. At this point Charity had decided to give her baby for adoption. I told my mom that if it seemed appropriate she could share my story of giving a son for adoption and let Charity know that I knew of families that would love to adopt her baby.

Not long after I talked to my mom the subject came up with Charity.  She took my number and seemed interested in talking with me.  She called the week of July 4^th.  After talking with her about her decision, people she had met up to that point to consider adopting her baby and telling her about my story she said she wanted me to “introduce” her to families. After we hung up I was overwhelmed with questions. I thought “how do I do this? Who do I ask? What have I done????”  I stopped to pray about it and the name of a CFC pastor and co-laborer in the counseling ministry came to my mind.  I emailed him about the situation and my thoughts of how to proceed.  I wanted his wisdom.  He emailed back to say he would help me with something I had in mind and casually mentioned a couple he was friends with that were trying to adopt.  After a few more conversations about the situation he again mentioned the couple he knew in case I wanted to talk to them. 

I prayed about it and talked with my husband. We decided to contact this couple so I let him know. He contacted them and they were very interested so I called them. We sent the couple's profile to Charity on July 26th, and she immediately told me she really liked them.  She said she had a really good feeling about them and that she was choosing them.  

On Friday Aug. 3 Charity woke one morning not feeling well. She texted to say she may not go to work because she felt yucky.  Later I received a call from my mom saying she was taking Charity to the hospital.  This would be her first time with a medical professional during her pregnancy.  I let the family know she was headed to the hospital.  Turned out to be an easily treated infection but in the process she received some care, was established with a dr. and set her next appt., and an ultrasound showed the baby would be a boy and a due date of Sept 16^th was given. I called the family with the “medical report” and said “do you want to know?”  the answer was yes so I let them know he is a boy. They were relieved that this was not labor as they were in the process of raising money to cover the adoption.

The family had attempted to adopt another baby but it failed to go through and in that process they used up their funds for adoption.  They had a lot of money to raise in a short time. Little did they know how short, but God did, and He provided $30K in 9 days!! The family held a fund raiser, and the response was overwhelming.

On Monday Aug. 20, at 12:53 am, we received a call from Charity saying she was on her way to the hospital to have the baby. She wanted me to tell the family. A text with a photo arrived at 5:22 am -a photo of a precious baby boy. Now the family had to scramble because he arrived, in God’s perfect timing, 3.5 weeks earlier than expected. They were together and in the car by noon that day. 
Charity gave her son a name because she did not want him to go for a couple days in the hospital without a name.  Later that day the family called from SC, on their way to OH, to give an update on their progress and then ask if I had told Charity what they planned to name the baby. I said “no”. They wondered because they had learned that Charity named him the same middle name they chose! 

The couple arrived and were nervous about meeting Charity and having her blessing to proceed with adopting. They had two previous adoptions fall through because the moms changed their minds. 
At this point I want to say that Charity listed herself as an atheist on her paperwork and the family listed themselves as Christian and their profile, which Charity loved, was very Christian. Charity was excited that her baby would be in a loving home with other kids. The couple had sent Charity flowers the day of the birth and had put together a basket for her and one for her 2-year-old son.  Both baskets had Bibles in them. The next text said they were there, and I continued praying.  Later I got a text from the couple saying “it could not have gone better.”  But the most amazing thing was a later text from Charity that said “I really cannot thank you enough.” I texted back that she is a hero in my mind.

I then called Charity and she gushed with excitement and gratitude she really loved this couple and said when the “mom” picked up the baby she looked so natural with him, “it was perfect” she said.  In all the conversations I had with her up to this point I had never heard that kind of joy, peace and gratitude. God was truly glorified in all these moments. 

The next day a text came saying the couple had spent time with Charity and read Romans 8 to her.  My mom later told me that Charity told her about the Bible reading and how God adopts children into His family.  Reports of time spent in the hospital room laughing and crying were heartwarming and it seemed the couple spent as much, if not more, time loving on Charity than they did the baby. The kind of love poured on her was very impactful. I don’t think she has ever experienced the love of God that is in Christ Jesus before and she seems very taken by it.  She was amazed at reports of people all over the world praying for her (because of the family’s blog) and her baby, fund raising efforts, and people she would probably never know loving her and her baby. 

Today, Aug. 23, 2012, she signed away her rights and the family is officially the parents of a baby boy that God had determined from the beginning of time would be their son!  

Psalm 139:15-16  
My continued prayer is that God would use the love lavished on her to glorify Himself and draw Charity unto Himself through Jesus.  I spoke to Charity yesterday and before we hung up I said “I love you” to which she replied “I love you too”.  This is remarkable due to all the previous conversations which have been down, hard and focused on the negative things going on in her life. God continues to grow my awe of Him. 

What a privilege to go when He says to go!"

Ephesians 1:3-6: Predestined for Adoption

Over the past month I have been given the privilege of preaching through the doctrine of biblical adoption. This doctrine is very dear to my heart but also a fundamental doctrine of the Christian faith. So much so that John Stott calls it the "highest blessing of the Christian faith". He says, "If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God’s child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all. Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption." (Knowing God p. 201)

Sermon Link: Ephesians 1:3-6

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."

Charity's Love

It has been nearly five months since Denise and I took the long awaited journey to Ohio to be introduced to our son Crosby. When we started our journey two years ago every day that passed without a baby seemed like an eternity. We would watch every month for an update concerning potential birth mothers and would calculate the approximate time that the birth mother may be choosing a family. For twelve long months our profile was passed over or would fall to second place behind the birth mother's perfect family. The time between each new birth mother seemed longer and longer and the birth mothers seemed fewer and fewer. Yet one day a simple phone call kick started our life into motion. It sent the agony of slow motion into the blur of fast forward. Weeks went by like hours and the months like days. Our tiny sleepy 6 pound infant boy has transformed into a plump 16 pound smiling baby boy. The family has settled into the comfort of a schedule and the security of a routine. However, it is so easy to allow the ordinary routine of life to cause us to forget the extraordinary things that God has ordained. This could not have been more evident to me than it has this past week. On August 21st, Denise and I were 50 miles outside of Canton when I received a phone call from a dear college friend. He was calling us to inquire if we would know of a Christian family who would be able to adopt a baby who was scheduled to be born later that day. Unable to convince Denise that we in fact should adopt the baby, I called a member of our congregation who was struggling with infertility. The call was guided by the hand of Providence because he informed me that just the prior days he and his wife had decided to fore go fertility treatments and adopt. Over the course of the next few days they scrambled to prepare for this child but this was not to be their child. However, today they are but a few hours away from adopting a child of their own. Denise and I have had the privileged to walk with them through the journey of adoption. Each adoption case is unique and they have had their fair share of trials and tribulations. However, as I have spoke with them I have been struck with how blessed Denise and I were to be directed to our birth mother, Charity. Every birth mother is different. Some have motivations of love for their child while others have much less virtuous intentions for choosing adoption. Some struggle with whether or not they will be able to go through with their plan while others hold unwavering to their conviction that adoption is the only option. With all the birth mothers that we could have had we were blessed with Charity, a sweet, sensible, and selfless birth mother.  I have often attempted to consider the depth of faith that it took Charity to trust her baby to our family. I know that I would never be courageousness enough to admit that I could not care for the child and place him up for adoption. As I have considered her strength, I was reminded of the great love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13. It is in the KJV that declares that if I"...have not charity, I am nothing." In this act of finding a home for Crosby she was personifying what true love is. Paul teaches in 13:7 "[Charity] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." In choosing adoption for Crosby she was bearing the burden of a broken heart, believing that Denise and I would love him as our own (as she would love him). She had the confidence assurance of hope that he was being cared for by parents who love him and love each other. Charity endured all the difficult things of pregnancy and delivery, the scorn of judgment, insensitive questions, and the unimaginable pain of saying goodbye to her baby in order to give him life . That is pure love. She did not receive accolades or financial gain.  She made hard sacrifices of time, energy, and emotions. All so that her baby could have a mother and father to love him the way she was unable to love him. She was unable to give him the life that she felt he deserved but she was able to give him the love that he deserved. The love of an adopted mother and father made possible by the love of a birth mother. She personified self sacrificial love so her baby could experience the life that she envisioned for him. I will never know the depth of love that it took for her to find Denise and me but I am indebted to her forever. Every time I hold him in my arms it is because she is not holding him. Crosby will grow up in my home, eat at my table, and run around our back yard because she did not bring him to her own home. That is sacrifice. That is selflessness. That is love. That is amazing! Charity holds a special place in our family. Though we only spent a few hours together over the course of three days I feel like she is apart of me. I am reminded of the love she gave when I see the slight red hue of Crosby's fuzzy hair that matches her own auburn hair. He will forever have gentle reminders of the love that our family was given by her sacrificial love. Most of all, I will praise my Lord and Saviour for sovereignly putting all the puzzle pieces together even when the journey was a difficult one. It was our loving Heavenly Father who was working to find us the right birth mother and to bring us the reward of a perfect baby boy. I am every grateful that He did. To God alone be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Merry Christmas!

Crosby enjoyed his first Christmas. His first gift was the adoption story called "God found us you" by Lisa Tawn Bergren.

Happy National Adoption Day!

Where it all began...

This past weekend my father drove me, Anna, and Andrew to pick up my grandmother for dinner. As he drive through the winding New England roads he nonchalantly gained the kids attention and said, "Look kids! That is the place where we met your Daddy for the first time." It was so profound yet so common. The weathered buildings stand as a silent witness to the miracle of my adoption into the Partyka family and ultimately into the household of faith.

The Village for Families & Children

My story began on September 22, 1977 when a little boy was born to a young unmarried woman. The result of a fleeting relationship, he was rejected by his father and forfeited by his mother. Immediately he became a ward of the state living in the care of foster parents who were not his own. His future was filled with uncertainty and danger, for this world is a dark and dangerous place without the love and protection of a father and mother. However, he was not forgotten. During the spring of 1977, James and Lucy Partyka struggled with the hopelessness of another year without a child of their own. The devastation of multiple miscarriages had left their hearts weary and their loving arms empty. They had no child of their own to snuggle with, read fairy tales to, or push on the swings. Their house was not a home without a child to share it with. Everything changed with a phone call from Catholic Family Services who informed them that they had a little boy named, “Christian”. The overjoyed couple raced to the office (see picture) where the little boy sat in a small room eating a box of Ritz crackers. The nervous couple slowly entered the room to meet their prospective son. When the little boy took notice of the couple he opened his arms to be picked up by his new Daddy. Without hesitation, they chose to call this little boy their own son. On November 10, 1978 I was declared a Partyka by the State of Connecticut. My parents triumphantly brought to me to their home to meet my grandparents, my uncle, and my new puppy. I slept in their beds on scary nights, ate my mother’s delicious food, and waived to my father from the little league diamond. I listened as they read scripture after dinner, prayed before bedtime, and worshipped with them at church. I picked up their mannerisms, speech habits, and way of thinking. I am loved because they chose to love me. I was born a stranger but now I am their son because they chose to be my parents. I am a Partyka because they chose to give me their name.

Thirty four years later I hold my own son of adoption, Crosby James. United together not by blood or history but by a love that chose to give of oneself. He did not chose me as his father but I chose to love him as my son. He is a constant reminder of the day on a hillside in Connecticut where my earthly father chose to give me his name and his unconditional love. Ultimately, Crosby is a testament to the love of a Heavenly Father who declared me his own on a hillside in Jerusalem some two millennia ago.

"In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." Ephesians 1:5-6

A Humble Thank You

How do you say thank you for a gift whose significance far surpasses every gift that you have and ever will receive? It is simply not possible to put into words. One year ago we started on this adoption journey with the desire of expanding our family through adoption. Over the course of the past months we have done so much more. We have felt the love and support of a community who has encouraged us, prayed for us, and rejoiced with us. Our eyes have been opened to the importance of adoption in our world and the significance of adoption to the family of God. Most of all we have marveled at the power of the Lord as we watched His hand move mountains bringing Crosby into our family. All praise be to God our Heavenly Father! As we have watched the Lord work we cannot help but recognize the individual parts he has used to accomplish his will. Thank you. Thank you for your willingness and generosity in bringing Crosby into our family. You played a vital role in making this happen and for that we say thank you. 

~ Chris, Denise, Anna, Andrew, & Crosby