Waiting on The Lord

Two weeks ago, Denise was involved in a special ceremony to honor the young ladies (including Kayla) who have graduated from High School and are moving on to the next chapter of their lives; adulthood. She agonized about what to share but finally it was suggested to her to speak on waiting on The Lord in light of Crosby's adoption and first birthday. This is a message that I especially need to hear and am thankful for the wisdom of my wife and her willingness to share it. This is what she shared...

Thank you for your willingness to be here and receive our encouragement. It is a privilege to share with you one area in my life in which The Lord has worked and moved. I would like to encourage you in waiting on The Lord. You all at one point in your lives,  if you aren't already,  will have to wait on The Lord. It may be for a husband or children or any number of things. The following passage became very familiar to me during a long period of waiting.

Psalm 40:1-5
1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
4 Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!
5 You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.

 I waited on The Lord for another baby for more than 6 years. While the waiting was difficult and included many moments of doubt,  much confession of sin, heartbreaking loss, many tears and disappointments I wouldn't change one thing about that time in my life. I believe The Lord did one of His greatest works in my heart over those years and I  probably still don't fully understand all that he accomplished.  There really isn't a better place to be than to be waiting on The Lord. God is ultimately drawing you to Himself. He will show you that He is God, that He is good and that He is sovereign. I promise you his timing and wisdom are absolutely perfect. You may find yourself questioning these truths, like I did when in the midst of wanting a baby so desperately found myself in the middle of a baby boom in our church and suffered a very disappointing miscarriage during this same time.  Please be encouraged and know that what God keeps from you is just as much a gift as what He chooses to give you.  When God has you wait and He will , wait faithfully and trust that God does not withhold good from us and our ultimate good is Himself.

Psalm 84:11-1211 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
12 O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Even when you may question God's wisdom, as I did when we were to bring a baby girl home last May and she went into foster care instead, I would encourage you to look to the cross and the story of your own redemption  because as the scriptures say it is foolishness to the world but it is a complete picture of God's perfect wisdom and goodness to those of us who believe.  As wonderful a gift and blessing that Crosby is, He is not the fulfillment of my period of waiting, it is in fact, Christ himself. During that time God, strengthened my faith, revealed to me the value of his timing and providence and Christ became all the more precious. It was the following verses that came to mind when I   first held Crosby and looked into his little face.

20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,
21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen   These verses never rang truer than on that day. When you wait, wait faithfully, look to scripture, cling to hope in Christ and surround yourself with those who will encourage you to do these things.

Me being able to share my experience and heart  with you tonight is just another sweet blessing resulting from my time of waiting on The Lord, thank you. 

The Significance of the Moment

 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21 ESV)

There are times in our lives we must stop and appreciate the significance of a moment. A significance that can be lost in the routine of everyday life. As human beings, our hearts long for what is just beyond our reach or what lays beyond the distant horizon. In looking ahead we fail to appreciate the value of what our hands presently grasp and the beauty our eyes currently behold. One year ago today a little boy was born in Canton, OH. A little boy whose life has instantly infused a miraculous love and unspeakable joy into a family desperately needing it. It is still almost unbelievable that this little boy is my son. Despite how exhausting the adoption process was, I cannot imagine not having the pleasure of enduring it. A process that was filled with disappointment, hope, heartbreak, determination, and joy. It was like yesterday that I was sitting in a corner booth at Chik-fil-a with Shane Waters who told me, "If money is the only reason for not adopting than it is not a reason." I will never forget my mother-in-law Bonnie Godbold's excitement at the news and her encouragement that any child of any color would be blessed to be apart of our family because, "in a Christian home that doesn't matter." The sweet words of encouragement that our social worker, Amber Marshall, when another adoption disappointment broke our hearts is still a balm to our soul. I am humbled that Matt Russell would think of our family when he found out that a baby needed to be adopted.  I still recollect holding my breath with every incoming text from Michele McKee giving me updates from our birth mother.  I am humbled by friends like Scott & Sarah Brown and Shane & Ashlie Waters who sat in our dining room strategizing how we could ever raise $17,000 in less than 45 days. I am still humbled by the outpouring of love we received  from our family and friends as we overwhelmed the Roosevelt Chik-fil-a on a hot August night to raise adoption funds. We were not worthy of the generosity of people who donated their creativity, time, love, and money to bring Crosby home. I would be remiss if I did not mention our indebtedness to the Ingram family who shared their sweet home with us while we were refugees in Ohio. No words can express what gratitude we have for Denise's Dad who embraced and supported our dream of adoption. We know that it is bittersweet for him especially because of how much Mom would have loved Crosby. Though she is not here in body we know that her spirit dwells in our love for Crosby and the stories we tell him of his Nana's life and love. It was also through this process that I gained a new appreciation for my own adoption and what my parents endured in order to give me a home.

They are so many people to thank...the Frasers, Moores, Roberts, Julie Paisley, and so many more. However, the person I must give the most thanks is to my sweet wife Denise. It was not always her dream to adopt. The uncertainties of the adoption journey brought her many sleepless nights and feelings of inadequacies of what the future held. Thank you for following me and most ultimately trusting the Lord. I never doubted that you were strong enough and I know that you are just the mother Crosby needs.

There are two times in my life that I have seen you glow with such a radiance; the day we promised our lives to each other and the first time you held Crosby. Thank you for joining me in this journey. We have just begun to see what the Lord has in store for Crosby and our family as a whole. There will be times when the days are long, the diapers stinky, and the fussing unbearable. It is in these times we will yearn to fast forward to the next stage of development. However, it is these times that we must stop and remember what has brought us here. To appreciate the significance of the moment. Countless people who have given of themselves so that we could enjoy celebrations like today. Birthdays where we can hold our chubby baby boy in our arms or plaster his picture throughout various social media are to be cherished and celebrated. 

I always had the conviction that we would adopt. Admittedly, there were times when I had serious doubts. However, I could never have scripted how God would lead us to a birth mother in Ohio, raise $30,000 in funds in 9 days, find a free home to live in for two weeks, and bring us home to Florida safely. I pray that I stop and recognize the significant of the moment with every birthday party, first day of school, and milestone while giving glory to our Heavenly Father who worked it all for his glory. 

Finally, the chief significance of this moment is found within Ephesians 3:14-21. It is with the saints that we comprehend the breadth, length, height, and depth of Christ's love through the adoption of Crosby. He is a living memorial to the love that God has for His children. My heart also resonates with verse 20, "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." I could never fathom how God worked to bring about his glory and I am continually awed by how he did.